I have really enjoyed the fresh perspective on the sermon on the mount that I have received from friends and some of the books I have been reading from. One part in particular that has received my attention has been the beginning of Matthew 7. If you have ever heard the phrase: "Judge not lest you be judged as well" or some similar thought, chances are that the quote or phrase was trying to reference this section. Here it is below:
"Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you wild be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces."
Traditionally taken by many to be forbidding judgment, this passage is often quoted as a way to avoid the stern judgment of those critical of one's own life. However, while this angle is true of the passage, we often fail to see the heart behind the passage. When we are reading this passage, we see that Jesus wants to avoid having people rush into judgment, but we often think this means that there will be no conversation had at all; no life-giving words exchanged between friends, neighbors, or others seeking to add value to another's life. Instead, we see that Jesus is asking us to slow down and pause. He speaks toward our need for introspection and silence. Often, we try to add to others' lives out of a sense of our own emptiness and death. We think that we can justify our own existence, prove our superiority to others, or gain a sense of maturity from giving advice to others.
On the one hand, we need to learn to slow down and sit with silence and solitude, learning what anxieties and pains are driving us. On the other hand, we are also being asked to be self-aware when we are tempted to give helpful advice to those around us.
I read a sage quote recently that said "Advice will be given to us whether we like it or not. Council is better. It is asked for from others because of the trust that has been established between the two parties." What I see in this quote can be best surmised as "The Ask". When we see a way to guide and help another soul, the way of the kingdom of God is to ask if the advice is welcome. One can see this in the tail end of the above passage, the famous Pearl Before Swine text. When we ask if our advice is welcome, we do two things. First, we learn to respect someone's boundaries and give love appropriately. This practice prevents us from living into our insecurities and points to a love for the other above a love for the self. Second, we prevent ourselves from giving love inappropriately, entering into relationships where either we harm through unwanted advice or codependant relationships where the recipient of advice finds increasing difficulty facing life without help from others.
"The Ask" also represents a larger spirit behind the law, one that does not force itself upon one's neighbors, but instead serves in love, taking the route of the gentle stranger, making progress only where it is welcome. The cavalier spirit of the age bids us to stride into contested waters, holding aloft the sword of righteousness, letting nothing stand in our way. We see resistance as ignorance and diversion as averting the inevitable confrontation. Instead, Jesus asks us to love and serve with gentleness, getting to know others personally before inserting ourselves into their personal affairs, and only doing so with their permission. Instead of striking down the desire to help and give advice, this passage opens the door for it by putting advice-giving way beneath several other virtues: love, patience, kindness, gentleness, joy, etc. As we grow in virtue, we will not only become capable of giving better advice, but we will also grow into discerning individuals who overflow their behavior out of a character of love rather than force progress through an attitude of fear and hate.
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