12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.I think this verse does a great job in dealing with Kindness as a virtue. It recognizes that everyone we will ever come into contact with will probably disappoint us in one way or another and that we will do the same for others. Instead of dealing with this by trying to push ourselves and others toward perfection, this verse promotes kindness and forgiveness as a better response. We should "clothe" ourselves in kindness. What this means is that we need to have that mindset in place from the moment we wake up (maybe this is why it is called a 'mind-set'). It is all a part of grace. We are all equal in God's sight and nothing today will increase or decrease that value. In fact, you may have noticed that the passage I quoted starts with 'therefore', indicating that this verse is a result of what was just said. Here is the previous verse (v.11):
11 Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.We are all equally loved in God's sight and we should, therefore, seek to represent that equality by being kind and forgiving to each other. Verse 13 tells us to 'bear' with each other's shortcomings. The word 'bear' seems to indicate that this will be a long process, perhaps even life long. Of course, if there is unrepentant sin in someone's life, we are called to address and confront that sin head-on; also, we want to help our brothers and sisters grow over time. However, this does not mean that we are supposed to point out each and every imperfection. Verse 14 tells us that love is a key virtue for keeping compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience all tied together. This is because all these virtues keep love as a common goal. In the case of kindness, we are seeking to create a safe place for those around us to be themselves. This world is full of enough places of judgement and criticism without the church adding an extra burden. We pursue our goals of maturation in a fail-free zone. This means that we bear with each other's growing pains as we seek to imitate Christ. Only Satan uses guilt and shame as tools for motivation. If you find yourself using shame or guilt to persuade others or vice-versa, you need to escape this cycle of death. Even if the desired changes take place, the guilt and shame will still float around and attach themselves to some other part of your life. Kindness dispels that; it admits that we are all broken and that we accept that fact without wallowing in self-pity. Even an unkind joke can leave behind ripples that will play out in someone's life for several years. Consider Ephesians 4:29:
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.Use every word as an opportunity to encourage and lift up those around you. The Pharisees in Jesus' time took an exact opposite approach. In Matthew 23:4-7, Jesus says,
4 They tie up heavy loads and put them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them. 5 “Everything they do is done for men to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; 6 they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; 7 they love to be greeted in the marketplaces and to have men call them ‘Rabbi.’They tied up heavy loads of guilt and condemnation for the common person to carry and didn't offer them any assistance in carrying those burdens. We don't help other people by placing extra burdens and doubts upon their shoulders. You will notice that Jesus points out the heart behind the Pharisees' actions: everything they do is for men to see. In other words, the reason why they were unkind to people and judgmental of their sin was to make themselves look more holy. Just the same, if we, as Christians, do not show kindness and forgiveness to those who fall, it is probably because we want to look holier than our fallen brethren. What better way to prove that one doesn't need as much grace than to point out someone who does need that grace?
Listen! I really want you to meditate on this last verse, Luke 15:2:
2 But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”Chew this one over. We are all sinners, right? The Pharisees were sinners. The people that Jesus met with were especially known for their open sin. However, let us, for a moment, take this statement by itself and think about it. Every person I COULD welcome is a sinner, even those who will not admit their sin. So what does it mean to welcome a sinner? It means to welcome someone as they truly are and to "eat with them", otherwise known as "doing life together". Not to place expectations on people they can't live up to. We welcome them to be themselves in a world of insecurity and fear. We become a safe harbor for people to dock and unload their cargo every single day.
If you struggle with kindness, it might be because you have not addressed the guilt that you have towards your own sin. If that is the case, find a group of people that will welcome you and your baggage without judgment. It is hard for us to mimic what we have never experienced. Give them an opportunity to be kind to you so that you, in turn, may be kind to others.
In Christ,
Simeon Snow
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