Fruit of the Spirit Series: Love- Part 1 of 9

         These 9 parts will seek to show the character of a godly believer in ways that should be sought through spiritual disciplines. However, the main focus of this series is not on spiritual disciplines, but on the kind of character that is part of our goal in such pursuits. Identifying the goal of our maturity will help us to clarify what we are pursuing and what we are not pursuing. Far from being a legalistic list, this is a vision of who you could be in Christ if we draw close to him. The first of these 9 qualities is love. Most people are very familiar with the passage in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

         The most obvious, consistent theme here is that love centers on other people. You can see this in Jesus' proclomation of the two greatest commandments in Matthew 22:36-39:

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[b] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[c] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

          Here, we see that all of God's commandments in the Bible revolve around loving God and other people. These include not just the people who are easy to love either. Matthew 5:43-47 tells us:

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[h] and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you: Love your enemies[i] and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?

          Now, love does not mean that you need to be best friends with every person you come into contact with; that is a completely unrealistic expectation. You can tell that this previous passage disagrees with such a notion because he still uses the word "enemies" to describe your relationship with the other person. Love is not about developing two way street relationships with all mankind. It is an attitude of the heart that seeks the best for the other person. The most loving thing you can do for someone else is to draw them closer to Christ  . Don't let this idea get watered down, either. Sometimes, the most loving word of affirmation is one of constructive criticism and confrontation. When you avoid confrontation, you are not acting out of love, but out of fear. A spirit of love is not timid. This is shown in 2 Timothy 1:7:

7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

         You may have heard this scripture before, but have you ever noticed that this one spirit given to us by God contains both power and self-discipline as well as love? Power and Self-Discipline are needed to confront evil in the world and in the people we show love towards. Love is not afraid of retribution for love's actions; love dares to do the loving, right thing, no matter the cost. This does not mean that one is to forgoe all personal interests while looking out for the good of others, though. A good place to develop this idea comes from Philippians 2:3-4:

 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

         Again, this verse reinforces the idea that we should not be looking out for ourselves alone. However, if  you take a close look at verse 4, the first part says that we should still be looking out for own interests and not abandon those interests completely. It just says to consider the needs of others in addition to your own needs. This counters the idea of being a doormat. Letting someone else use you for whatever minor thing they wish you to do is not love. That is manipulation and deceit and, additionally, is not actually showing love to the manipulator. Manipulation should be confronted with love and gentleness. This means addressing the problem without using it as an opportunity to lash out and take revenge on the person who has wronged you. The idea of being a doormat might seem to be pushed by Matthew 5:38-42:

38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’[g] 39 But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41 If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

          These actions are isolated, minor injuries that are not part of a pattern of abuse, but come from the enemy being far from the love of God. In these singular, isolated moments of insult, we are encouraged to overlook the offense and respond in love. This idea is highlited further by Proverbs 12:16:

16 A fool shows his annoyance at once,
    but a prudent man overlooks an insult.

           Here, we see the prudent man overlook this insult where the fool lashes out in anger. However, also consider Proverbs 22:3:

3 A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge,    but the simple keep going and suffer for it.

          This verse advocates that we do not submit ourselves to cycles of abuse, but rather take refuge from danger in our own interest. This self-interest is not selfish, but is taking care of the heart, mind, body, and spirit that God has given us. This is reflected in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20:

19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. 

         Another aspect of righteousness, justice, begs us not to understand love as being a doormat. Dueteronomy 16:19 tells us:

19 Do not pervert justice or show partiality. Do not accept a bribe, for a bribe blinds the eyes of the wise and twists the words of the righteous.

          We are not to understand love as opposed to justice. The reason that we ourselves are not punished for our sins is not because God "lovingly" overlooked our offenses, but let them fall on the head of Christ instead and that only becomes effective once we accept Christ's lordship. This tells us two things: Firstly, true love does not mean turning a blind eye to evil and injustice. Secondly, the goal of love is not to escape punishment for donig wrong deeds, but is to draw us closer to God. The reason that we overlook an insult is not to thwart justice; if they die without Christ, that sin will be one of the many that is punished by banishment to hell. However, love overlooks these small instances because they communicate to the offender that you are living for more than this world and points them towards Christ. Your action is meant to pull them closer to Christ. Here, we see that love is satisfied by pulling our enemy closer to Christ while justice is still satisfied by Jesus' sacrifice. If we misunderstand this idea of "overlooking an offense", we will think that submitting to abuse is good because love means keeping the ugly "justice" monster from attacking our enemy. Do not misunderstand. Justice will have its way. Bowing under abuse will not save the other person from justice and is definitely not how God meant for us to express love. Here, you show love differently. Your actions are representative of God. Since God seeks justice, you show the offender the righteousness of God when you hold them accountable for their actions; this draws them closer to Christ; drawing others to Christ is the goal of love.
         In conclusion, in order to become more loving, we need to be clear about what love is and what love is not. Love is not a fire where we burn up and destroy ourselves to accomplish good for other people. Paul tells us that this mindless self sacrifice does not equal love in 1 Corinthians 13:3:

3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

         Love, instead, is seeking to draw other people closer in their relationship with God while also obeying the other parts of the Bible that seek justice and good stewardship of one's own mind, body, and soul in addition to, but not in contradiction with, love.