There is a small movement in parts of America today known as Minimalism. It has a very simple concept: reduce the amount of possessions that you own in order to gain freedom. As we own less, we become freer to use our time and possessions as we please, but we also gain the freedom to experience the presence of God in the here and now. Disconnecting from owning so much also frees our spirit to appreciate the little we do have; we become more thoughtful and awake in our daily life. This movement follows the example of Christ, who asked us to sell all that we own to the poor. We love, serve, and bless others with our excess and use our new found freedom to become present to other people as well. In an age that uses technology to mitigate loneliness, we expose ourselves to silence, loneliness, and empty time in order to focus on what and who matters most.
A good start for implementing minimalism is by using a one year litmus test, seeing how often a possession is used within a year and rethinking its possession if it is not touched once during the year. For instance, with clothing, a practical way to measure this test is by facing all the hangers in the same direction. After an outfit has been worn and washed, put it back on the hanger facing the opposite direction. After a year has passed, see which outfits have been worn and which ones have not and you will quickly find that many outfits don't meet the need they were originally intended to serve.
If you are well-off, minimalism might mean reconsidering the size of the estate you occupy. If you have more meager means, another approach would be to consider the little trinkets that take up most of your time from books and games to movies and clothing. The litmus test in these situations is an honest appraisal of what increases your joy and what does not. If some items bring meaning, depth, or fun to life, they can stay with the understanding that breaks will be taken from their use, otherwise known as fasts. Fasts are great practices that help us push into abstaining from even what we really do need for short periods of time. Oftentimes, fasts work in the opposite direction for me, with short-term fasts of an item or food turning into a realization that I wanted my life to stay the way it had during the fast, securing a piece of long-term freedom for my life and time with God.
If you have had any good experiences with minimalism or fasting, let me know and we'll have a good conversation.
Monday, September 14, 2015
Sunday, September 6, 2015
Hurry Slowly: The Importance of Slowing Down
As I've transitioned to the Houston area, I have been in the midst of a lot of change and have been eager to get everything in my life worked out quickly, a little too quickly sometimes. Throughout my time at seminary, I was shown the importance of silence and solitude at seminary, especially because our culture tries to speed us up and overwork us, both in business and in pleasure. However, I have come to find out that there are several myths behind why I move so quickly.
Firstly, I have come to believe in large part that if I don't provide for myself, I won't get what I am after. The tension between trusting in God and doing our own part seems to be only a heart issue, but I am coming to find out that the difference between trust and not trust actually is reflected in our actions as well. When we "slow down to speed up", we take time to make decisions and pursue our goals. This slower pace makes it easier to hear and follow the voice of God. A good friend of mine calls this "hurrying slowly". For instance, I can rush in and out of romantic situations hoping to discern quickly whether any given match is a good fit. This comes from the belief that God will not provide the relationships that I need. While we don't sit on our hands and wait for life to come to us, we take our pace slowly, bringing up the sail of our hearts so that it can be guided by the hand of God. Therefore, whether it comes to job, relationship, or moving decisions, the best way to acquire the discernment to move forward is to have already developed the habit of slowing down in order to listen to God.
Secondly, I believe that our culture has come to worship and idolize those who make decisions very quickly. They are the leaders who can step up to the helm in the midst of chaos and bring order. However, while one can go too slow, I am coming to realize that even the most discerning Christians I know were never able to discern the character or people or the health of environments without slowing down, listening, and giving months to this process of discernment.
Third, I have come to realize that even the successes that I have when moving quickly really came from the hand of God. He was the one who connected the dots and opened the doors. When I realize that, I gain the hope and freedom necessary to slow down and listen to the dear small voice of God.
Firstly, I have come to believe in large part that if I don't provide for myself, I won't get what I am after. The tension between trusting in God and doing our own part seems to be only a heart issue, but I am coming to find out that the difference between trust and not trust actually is reflected in our actions as well. When we "slow down to speed up", we take time to make decisions and pursue our goals. This slower pace makes it easier to hear and follow the voice of God. A good friend of mine calls this "hurrying slowly". For instance, I can rush in and out of romantic situations hoping to discern quickly whether any given match is a good fit. This comes from the belief that God will not provide the relationships that I need. While we don't sit on our hands and wait for life to come to us, we take our pace slowly, bringing up the sail of our hearts so that it can be guided by the hand of God. Therefore, whether it comes to job, relationship, or moving decisions, the best way to acquire the discernment to move forward is to have already developed the habit of slowing down in order to listen to God.
Secondly, I believe that our culture has come to worship and idolize those who make decisions very quickly. They are the leaders who can step up to the helm in the midst of chaos and bring order. However, while one can go too slow, I am coming to realize that even the most discerning Christians I know were never able to discern the character or people or the health of environments without slowing down, listening, and giving months to this process of discernment.
Third, I have come to realize that even the successes that I have when moving quickly really came from the hand of God. He was the one who connected the dots and opened the doors. When I realize that, I gain the hope and freedom necessary to slow down and listen to the dear small voice of God.
Sunday, August 30, 2015
Fashion and Spiritual Formation
Rather than introducing a topic that I have a lot of certainty about, I thought I would talk about one that has often been discussed with my friends and continues to be a realm of exploration in theology: clothing and fashion.
Interestingly enough, the culture wars have shut off enough of people's imagination and thoughtfulness that discussions of clothing are usually relegated to sexuality and commercialism, neither of which I want to discuss today. Instead, I would like to talk about the heart and reason behind wearing fashionable clothing in the first place. The Bible itself mostly uses the word modesty to refer to the richness of clothing more so than how revealing and seductive it is. This is the general direction I would like to take as well.
A lot of my concern over the years with fashion has been its use as a manipulative force to control the behavior of others. Many of my close friends are aware of this function of fashion and try to wield this force for good. The power of a good impression allows the wielder to enter the private realms of people's lives in order to work good rather than be locked out at the front door. In some sense, this approach to clothing is biblical, like in 1 Corinthians 9:19-23, which mentions "I have become all things to all men, so that I may by all means save some." The idea, in essence, is that we become what is appeasing to others so that they may welcome us as friends. Additionally, there would be an undertone to this same message that Christians are called to a minimum of appearance so as not to hurt their witness to others.
The trouble seems to be when we forget why we donned the uniform of fashion in the first place and use the same manipulative means for our own ends. Additionally, it seems troubling in the first place that loving and serving others should require the use of manipulative techniques.
Both the good and the evil of this issue run back to the heart of fashion: beauty. In the Bible, we see God adorning his temple and the created order itself with awe-striking magnificence. The good Lord ravishes us with beauty and has designed us to seek the same out in others (i.e. Song of Solomon). Beauty is restorative, healing and bringing back hope to dark and desolate people. We were hard-wired for beauty. When we use beauty to manipulate others, either offensively in entering social circles or defensively in deflecting negative attention, we take steps away from truly beholding beauty in awed silence as intended. Even more complicating is the fact that we use clothing and fashion to communicate all sorts of non-verbal messages, such as ties for expertise and professionalism and suits to signal the difference between formal and semi-formal attire. Thus, we use fashion to signal, manipulate, and awe in our business, romantic, social, and public contexts. My fear of manipulation and the oppression of the weak make me afraid of using fashion. On the other hand, I know that encounters with God in nature and dressing well can boost morale, hope, and self-esteem. So, in conclusion, how do we use and treasure such a powerful resource to grow instead of corrupt our souls?
Interestingly enough, the culture wars have shut off enough of people's imagination and thoughtfulness that discussions of clothing are usually relegated to sexuality and commercialism, neither of which I want to discuss today. Instead, I would like to talk about the heart and reason behind wearing fashionable clothing in the first place. The Bible itself mostly uses the word modesty to refer to the richness of clothing more so than how revealing and seductive it is. This is the general direction I would like to take as well.
A lot of my concern over the years with fashion has been its use as a manipulative force to control the behavior of others. Many of my close friends are aware of this function of fashion and try to wield this force for good. The power of a good impression allows the wielder to enter the private realms of people's lives in order to work good rather than be locked out at the front door. In some sense, this approach to clothing is biblical, like in 1 Corinthians 9:19-23, which mentions "I have become all things to all men, so that I may by all means save some." The idea, in essence, is that we become what is appeasing to others so that they may welcome us as friends. Additionally, there would be an undertone to this same message that Christians are called to a minimum of appearance so as not to hurt their witness to others.
The trouble seems to be when we forget why we donned the uniform of fashion in the first place and use the same manipulative means for our own ends. Additionally, it seems troubling in the first place that loving and serving others should require the use of manipulative techniques.
Both the good and the evil of this issue run back to the heart of fashion: beauty. In the Bible, we see God adorning his temple and the created order itself with awe-striking magnificence. The good Lord ravishes us with beauty and has designed us to seek the same out in others (i.e. Song of Solomon). Beauty is restorative, healing and bringing back hope to dark and desolate people. We were hard-wired for beauty. When we use beauty to manipulate others, either offensively in entering social circles or defensively in deflecting negative attention, we take steps away from truly beholding beauty in awed silence as intended. Even more complicating is the fact that we use clothing and fashion to communicate all sorts of non-verbal messages, such as ties for expertise and professionalism and suits to signal the difference between formal and semi-formal attire. Thus, we use fashion to signal, manipulate, and awe in our business, romantic, social, and public contexts. My fear of manipulation and the oppression of the weak make me afraid of using fashion. On the other hand, I know that encounters with God in nature and dressing well can boost morale, hope, and self-esteem. So, in conclusion, how do we use and treasure such a powerful resource to grow instead of corrupt our souls?
Sunday, July 26, 2015
Totems, Fortresses, and Awareness
I have been musing over the connection between the physical and spiritual realms of late. Part of my training at seminary was in the use of physical implements for spiritual formation and I was hoping to talk about three of these concepts in general: totems, physical fortresses, and awareness practices. All three, while sounding goofy or strange, have deep connections to Christianity and are quite helpful in the pursuit of growth.
In the movie "Inception", the characters each possess a personal object that is called a "totem", whether a chess piece, a spinning top, or a dice. The characters keep their totems on their person at all times because the story involves a world where the characters are sneaking into dreams for corporate gain. The totems only act the way they are supposed to when they are in the real world, as in the case of the top eventually falling instead of spinning forever. In the same way, totems in spirituality are devices that help us connect back with the reality of God and His love for us. Christians and Christian groups have come up with totems that enable them to return to the reality of God's love and lordship in the midst of a world that tries to deceive us with noise, business, and peer pressure. A totem can be a physical object, such as prayer beads, a promise necklace, or a painting, but can be a lot of other things as well. Totems can also be verbal, such as in the case of breath prayers and Taize songs. A breath prayer is a prayer that can be said in a single breath, such as "God help me" or "Where does my help come from?" A very ancient prayer is the Jesus prayer: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner". These prayers are helpful in that they can be said throughout the day as a way of refocusing on God's presence. The more the prayers are said, the less the totem itself is important than the home that it represents. The totem becomes a meeting place where God and the self can meet, if only for a moment. God is always present, but it brings our attention to that reality. The Taize songs are developed by a monastic group in France and involve singing two lines of a song several times over, as in more than twenty or so times through. The words of the song become less important with each repetition than the actual experience of meeting God. Finally, physical and verbal totems can be used in sequence with one another. This is where the prayer beads come into play. A string of beads has several beads on one string; each bead represents one repetition of a prayer. Thus, one is able to remain focused while repeating a song or breath prayer multiple times. The physical touch of the bead helps the attention span as it tries to wander.
Fortresses are a second concept in physical spirituality that surrounds us more often than we realize. For instance, if one sees an article about roads and rivers segregating ethnicities in several cities (link on my Facebook page), one can see how spiritual realities become embodied in physical locals. This same concept applies to the way that we live and act in our neighborhoods as well as our places of work and worship. We have to be aware of how the walls and actual barriers as well as cultural barriers serve as messages of coldness and distance to the others who may be trying to come and connect with us. What can we do to clean up our work spaces of images and pictures that say "Please don't talk to me" or "you would never understand me"? In the same way, churches that insist upon one cultural style, as embodied in song styles, decorations, and lingo, are indirectly saying that they are not open to an encounter with those who are different. When we change our postures to being more open to new experiences, not only will we create a home for the new and different, but we will also discover that the new and different are already standing in our midst, maybe within our own shoes.
Lastly, awareness is a spiritual discipline that focuses on awareness of one's own body and God's presence in making and sustaining it. One can practice a simple awareness practice by sitting in place and focusing on one's breathing or by focusing on one body part at a time. By think about one body part at a time, I mean focusing on what it feels, from heat and air to texture and moisture, starting with one's fingertips and moving up the arm and elsewhere. Becoming more aware of one's body helps one appreciate what God has given us as well as make us more concerned about how Jesus' lordship also matters a lot when it comes to stewardship of our body. Not only so, but one gains contentment with one's possessions and situation in life when one realizes that one's essential person, who they are, will not change by owning or possessing more things. The saying "we all go naked into the grave and can take nothing with us" is truly appreciated when we focus in on our bodies.
There are more bridges between the physical and spiritual worlds, but I wanted to just muse on these few ideas today. Let me know if you would want to speak more on these topics.
Sincerely,
Simeon
In the movie "Inception", the characters each possess a personal object that is called a "totem", whether a chess piece, a spinning top, or a dice. The characters keep their totems on their person at all times because the story involves a world where the characters are sneaking into dreams for corporate gain. The totems only act the way they are supposed to when they are in the real world, as in the case of the top eventually falling instead of spinning forever. In the same way, totems in spirituality are devices that help us connect back with the reality of God and His love for us. Christians and Christian groups have come up with totems that enable them to return to the reality of God's love and lordship in the midst of a world that tries to deceive us with noise, business, and peer pressure. A totem can be a physical object, such as prayer beads, a promise necklace, or a painting, but can be a lot of other things as well. Totems can also be verbal, such as in the case of breath prayers and Taize songs. A breath prayer is a prayer that can be said in a single breath, such as "God help me" or "Where does my help come from?" A very ancient prayer is the Jesus prayer: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner". These prayers are helpful in that they can be said throughout the day as a way of refocusing on God's presence. The more the prayers are said, the less the totem itself is important than the home that it represents. The totem becomes a meeting place where God and the self can meet, if only for a moment. God is always present, but it brings our attention to that reality. The Taize songs are developed by a monastic group in France and involve singing two lines of a song several times over, as in more than twenty or so times through. The words of the song become less important with each repetition than the actual experience of meeting God. Finally, physical and verbal totems can be used in sequence with one another. This is where the prayer beads come into play. A string of beads has several beads on one string; each bead represents one repetition of a prayer. Thus, one is able to remain focused while repeating a song or breath prayer multiple times. The physical touch of the bead helps the attention span as it tries to wander.
Fortresses are a second concept in physical spirituality that surrounds us more often than we realize. For instance, if one sees an article about roads and rivers segregating ethnicities in several cities (link on my Facebook page), one can see how spiritual realities become embodied in physical locals. This same concept applies to the way that we live and act in our neighborhoods as well as our places of work and worship. We have to be aware of how the walls and actual barriers as well as cultural barriers serve as messages of coldness and distance to the others who may be trying to come and connect with us. What can we do to clean up our work spaces of images and pictures that say "Please don't talk to me" or "you would never understand me"? In the same way, churches that insist upon one cultural style, as embodied in song styles, decorations, and lingo, are indirectly saying that they are not open to an encounter with those who are different. When we change our postures to being more open to new experiences, not only will we create a home for the new and different, but we will also discover that the new and different are already standing in our midst, maybe within our own shoes.
Lastly, awareness is a spiritual discipline that focuses on awareness of one's own body and God's presence in making and sustaining it. One can practice a simple awareness practice by sitting in place and focusing on one's breathing or by focusing on one body part at a time. By think about one body part at a time, I mean focusing on what it feels, from heat and air to texture and moisture, starting with one's fingertips and moving up the arm and elsewhere. Becoming more aware of one's body helps one appreciate what God has given us as well as make us more concerned about how Jesus' lordship also matters a lot when it comes to stewardship of our body. Not only so, but one gains contentment with one's possessions and situation in life when one realizes that one's essential person, who they are, will not change by owning or possessing more things. The saying "we all go naked into the grave and can take nothing with us" is truly appreciated when we focus in on our bodies.
There are more bridges between the physical and spiritual worlds, but I wanted to just muse on these few ideas today. Let me know if you would want to speak more on these topics.
Sincerely,
Simeon
Sunday, May 3, 2015
Does Guilt Help Growth? (Discussion)
From my own personal experience, I have not seen guilt achieve a lot in the pursuit of growth. By guilt, I do not mean guilt for sin, but guilt that one should be a good and mature believer. I was preaching a sermon this morning on John 15:5 this morning and spoke on how trying to achieve good things out of our own effort only leads to burnout. Instead, I said that we needed service to come from an overflow of the heart. However, in some classes and books, I am hearing about the need to use discipline and guilt for helping others grow, especially in the early phases. Children will not go to church unless we force them, so why would we let them make the decision on their own? People need to take their faith seriously, but will not do so until they have an external reason like guilt to do so.
Let me list out some of my reasons against guilt in growth, but I'd like to hear your thoughts and see where we end up.
In the world of management, we are told to avoid carrots on a stick to motivate behavior. It is actually possible to make someone stop liking a hobby by giving them incentives to do the hobby. A tangible example of this demotivation comes from the sports world: professional athletes come to dislike the games they play since the game has transformed from meaning relaxation and pleasure to meaning money and fame. Similarly, when we change the motivation for doing good works and growing from participating in the joy of God to filling a hole in one's life, one starts to look away from the prize (God) and look toward fixing their sense of guilt as the ultimate objective.
In the discipleship setting and in the Bible, I have seen that growth and service happen as overflow of the heart. People do nice things for others because they want to. This is my ideal. When we allow people the freedom to avoid costly discipleship because they don't have the desire, we also give them the freedom and space to act out freely if they do want to grow.
Lastly, when we serve out of a sense of guilt, we turn others into objects of ministry. We stop seeing people and we start seeing keys to our guilt problem. We use others to fill a need. Thus, those who serve to fulfill their guilt are no better than those who want to feel good about themselves and care nothing for those who are being served.
On the other hand, I see that there are times that I DON'T want to do spiritual disciplines. In the past, I have been able to practice disciplines until I enjoyed doing them. In these times, I'm not quite sure what to think. Joy can't be forced, yet the disciplines need to be done, right? In this situation, is it better to abandon the discipline or force it because it will create growth long term (especially if one is a kid or a new believer). Is discipline the foundation for freedom? Is freedom the foundation for discipline? Is discipline needed at all? Please share and comment below.
Let me list out some of my reasons against guilt in growth, but I'd like to hear your thoughts and see where we end up.
In the world of management, we are told to avoid carrots on a stick to motivate behavior. It is actually possible to make someone stop liking a hobby by giving them incentives to do the hobby. A tangible example of this demotivation comes from the sports world: professional athletes come to dislike the games they play since the game has transformed from meaning relaxation and pleasure to meaning money and fame. Similarly, when we change the motivation for doing good works and growing from participating in the joy of God to filling a hole in one's life, one starts to look away from the prize (God) and look toward fixing their sense of guilt as the ultimate objective.
In the discipleship setting and in the Bible, I have seen that growth and service happen as overflow of the heart. People do nice things for others because they want to. This is my ideal. When we allow people the freedom to avoid costly discipleship because they don't have the desire, we also give them the freedom and space to act out freely if they do want to grow.
Lastly, when we serve out of a sense of guilt, we turn others into objects of ministry. We stop seeing people and we start seeing keys to our guilt problem. We use others to fill a need. Thus, those who serve to fulfill their guilt are no better than those who want to feel good about themselves and care nothing for those who are being served.
On the other hand, I see that there are times that I DON'T want to do spiritual disciplines. In the past, I have been able to practice disciplines until I enjoyed doing them. In these times, I'm not quite sure what to think. Joy can't be forced, yet the disciplines need to be done, right? In this situation, is it better to abandon the discipline or force it because it will create growth long term (especially if one is a kid or a new believer). Is discipline the foundation for freedom? Is freedom the foundation for discipline? Is discipline needed at all? Please share and comment below.
Sunday, April 26, 2015
Baptism as Marriage
Last week, I talked about Marriage being similar to Baptism, as an entrance into service and community. However, I think it is just as important to make the reverse comparison: baptism is like marriage.
This comparison shouldn't come as a surprise, especially since this image comes up in places like Ephesians 5:25-33. However, when it comes to baptism today, we don't seem to treat the ceremony as something similar. When I see new believers coming for baptism in the New Testament, I see a change in lifestyle and expectations; they join a community. However, when I say that there is a change in expectations, I am not emphasizing the moral aspect, although this is included. A wedding ceremony is not just a permission ceremony where a man and woman gain permission to have sex for the first time, nor is it an exclusion ceremony where a couple simply forswears romance outside of marriage. The very nature of their relationship changes from one based on simple trust and feelings to being one based in promise and commitment as well.
In church settings, new believers come to be baptized or for membership only to sit on the outside of the church, showing up for Sunday morning worship if for anything at all. Or young believers push for baptism because their friends are doing so, not knowing the choice, commitment, and weight of baptism. Pastors interview young candidates for baptism with a simple doctrinal test: do you believe that Jesus died on the cross for your sins? Are you aware of your own sin? Do you accept Jesus' lordship and payment for your sins? However, while these questions are a great way to learn where someone is on the journey to becoming a Christian, I think they fall drastically short as tests for baptism. This question is not to say that kids can't become Christians, quite the opposite. Kids often have insights that other Christians don't have. However, in my opinion, kids are missing some necessary components of baptism.
Let me explain further: Baptism is seen in the New Testament texts as a submission to church discipline and to the order of the church. Additionally, baptism is an entrance into ekklesia, a self-giving community of mutual love. It is a commitment to do life together for the long haul, to serve one another, to bless each other with our gifts, and to mend one another's wounds. In this sense, baptism really is like marriage, between the new believer and the body of Christ, just as the body of Christ is married to Christ himself.
Thus, I find myself dissatisfied with children being baptized, not just because they are often confused about the nature of the gospel, but because they have not developed the capacity to serve and love like an adult nor the ability to understand the weight of long-term commitment. When we hear of child marriages, we find ourselves disgusted, not because the child doesn't mentally understand what a marriage is nor because they don't have the capacity to serve or love. Instead, we abhor child marriages because the child has not developed the capacity to take responsibility for their own life and commitments. They are not capable of understanding the true weight of a life-long commitment like marriage. Additionally, while children can love and serve, they do not understand the discipline and maturity that love and service take within the context of marriage (adults have a hard enough time with these same concepts). Therefore, if marriage is like baptism, why do we rush to have our children baptized? We can affirm their faith and growth without forcing them to make a commitment to the fellowship of believers. When we equate baptism with salvation and justification, not only do we imply that baptism saves, we also imply that baptism is a one-time moment without consequences. I understand that those from infant baptism backgrounds might disagree, but they replace the true nature of baptism by coming up with other practices, such as confirmation and membership, to supplement what is lost by child baptism.
In conclusion, how have we Christians responded to our own Baptism? Do we act like we are married to the body of faith? If not, what is holding us back?
Feel free to disagree in the comments below. What do you think are legitimate differences between marriage and baptism?
This comparison shouldn't come as a surprise, especially since this image comes up in places like Ephesians 5:25-33. However, when it comes to baptism today, we don't seem to treat the ceremony as something similar. When I see new believers coming for baptism in the New Testament, I see a change in lifestyle and expectations; they join a community. However, when I say that there is a change in expectations, I am not emphasizing the moral aspect, although this is included. A wedding ceremony is not just a permission ceremony where a man and woman gain permission to have sex for the first time, nor is it an exclusion ceremony where a couple simply forswears romance outside of marriage. The very nature of their relationship changes from one based on simple trust and feelings to being one based in promise and commitment as well.
In church settings, new believers come to be baptized or for membership only to sit on the outside of the church, showing up for Sunday morning worship if for anything at all. Or young believers push for baptism because their friends are doing so, not knowing the choice, commitment, and weight of baptism. Pastors interview young candidates for baptism with a simple doctrinal test: do you believe that Jesus died on the cross for your sins? Are you aware of your own sin? Do you accept Jesus' lordship and payment for your sins? However, while these questions are a great way to learn where someone is on the journey to becoming a Christian, I think they fall drastically short as tests for baptism. This question is not to say that kids can't become Christians, quite the opposite. Kids often have insights that other Christians don't have. However, in my opinion, kids are missing some necessary components of baptism.
Let me explain further: Baptism is seen in the New Testament texts as a submission to church discipline and to the order of the church. Additionally, baptism is an entrance into ekklesia, a self-giving community of mutual love. It is a commitment to do life together for the long haul, to serve one another, to bless each other with our gifts, and to mend one another's wounds. In this sense, baptism really is like marriage, between the new believer and the body of Christ, just as the body of Christ is married to Christ himself.
Thus, I find myself dissatisfied with children being baptized, not just because they are often confused about the nature of the gospel, but because they have not developed the capacity to serve and love like an adult nor the ability to understand the weight of long-term commitment. When we hear of child marriages, we find ourselves disgusted, not because the child doesn't mentally understand what a marriage is nor because they don't have the capacity to serve or love. Instead, we abhor child marriages because the child has not developed the capacity to take responsibility for their own life and commitments. They are not capable of understanding the true weight of a life-long commitment like marriage. Additionally, while children can love and serve, they do not understand the discipline and maturity that love and service take within the context of marriage (adults have a hard enough time with these same concepts). Therefore, if marriage is like baptism, why do we rush to have our children baptized? We can affirm their faith and growth without forcing them to make a commitment to the fellowship of believers. When we equate baptism with salvation and justification, not only do we imply that baptism saves, we also imply that baptism is a one-time moment without consequences. I understand that those from infant baptism backgrounds might disagree, but they replace the true nature of baptism by coming up with other practices, such as confirmation and membership, to supplement what is lost by child baptism.
In conclusion, how have we Christians responded to our own Baptism? Do we act like we are married to the body of faith? If not, what is holding us back?
Feel free to disagree in the comments below. What do you think are legitimate differences between marriage and baptism?
Sunday, April 19, 2015
Will Marriage Disappear?
In my conversations about the marriage and freedom debates shaping the American landscape, I find myself wondering about the survival of the very concept of marriage into the twenty-first century. As we have, as a nation, reexamined and debated the meaning of marriage over and over again, marriage itself seems to have waned in importance. If the goal of marriage is the experience of romantic love, I believe that the debates over who can get married will give way to debates on whether marriage itself is as wonderful as once believed.
The relationship status known as "cohabitation" or "living together" has largely taken the place of marriage in the same way that wireless phone carriers and cable companies have learned that consumers are more interested in relationships without contracts. In the case of phone carriers, consumers have learned to fear promising packages up front that are later transformed to unfavorable terms once a contract has been signed. In the same way, discerning couples in the modern "love marketplace" are learning that years of marriage may reveal unintended transformation of the package they signed up for. Thus, escaping the contract model gives all consumers the ability to fluidly meet their needs on the fly, capable of major relationship changes over the course of days. Additionally, our generation is more aware than ever that weddings and rehearsals are often unwelcome drains on finances and awkward reintroductions to distant family.
The only road bump that I see on the way to cohabitation is the place of children in American society. We care for our children and are willing to spend a lot of money to make sure they get the best in life. Additionally, stable marriages have proven the only method capable of consistently raising healthy, whole children. If cohabitation became the new norm, these households could prove dangerous and unhealthy for children who don't know what their caretaker situation will be like from day to day as their parents discern the best relational package for the moment. However, if the government or a private business practice found a way to supplement and capitalize on the parenting function that was not horrifying, large groups of people might leave their children to be raised, visiting them for their own joy while bypassing the burdens and pains of parenthood. One can even imagine situations in which conservative groups wishing to diminish abortions and liberal groups wanting to provide a communal approach to child-raising could team up to create a context where children can be dropped off and raised. Currently, this system exists in a proto form as the foster care system, yet the horrors of this system are too well known to be easily marketable. Reform may come one day where a more effective system will come along that effectively raises children, whether through private market competition or through mass overhaul of the foster care system. Once this new system is in place, the final difficult barrier between marriage and cohabitation will go away.
Now, as a Christian, does this change in society scare me? No.
Do I believe in the importance of Christian marriage? Absolutely.
Christians reflecting on marriage often turn to 1 Corinthians 7 for advice on romance and are horrified to find Paul seemingly advocate against marriage. However, this passage has more to show us than first meets the eye and demonstrates the Christian perspective on marriage. First, not only does Paul affirm the desire for sex, he also gives a method of discernment for dating Christians. He says that marriage will pull away Christians from service to God and others. However, Paul is not saying that marriage is unchristian. Quite the opposite really:
"32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord." (1 Corinthians 7:32-35, NIV)
Instead of stepping away from service, marriage is a change of service, from serving God and others all of the time to serving one's wife part of the time. Yet, from what Matthew teaches us on service, serving anyone is really serving Christ himself. So, instead of changing from serving to not serving, we are changing from one kind of service to another. Paul thinks that the service of the single is most helpful in his current context, but he shows that both are equally ministry. And herein lies the key to our conversation on marriage disappearing.
When the world chooses marriage as the apex of romantic desire, they are taking a delightful part of the Christian witness and isolating it from the renewed heart in Christ. Since the secular world does not follow Christ, there is no reason for the secular world to try and obey a principle which only belongs to the Way of the Cross. For the world, service is valuable because people in general are valuable and love is valuable because it transcends space and time. However, the deeper level that the Christian sees is that, in addition to finding sex and service valuable, marriage is valuable because we belong to one another. And it is in belonging to one another that sex and service are also transformed. Just as the Bible speaks of Christians belonging to one another by virtue of their baptism, so a Christian marriage involves people belonging to one another. The gospel is not just a radical cleansing of sin, it is the establishment of a community that commits to loving and serving each other for the long haul. Long-term commitment is inherent in the Christian witness, taking a higher priority than the joys of sex and even the goods of service.
You see, cohabitating Christian couples can serve one another, but, without the permanent commitment of marriage, they will never truly belong to one another. Marriage is both a unique service and a spiritual discipline due to this dynamic of long-term commitment. When one signs up for whatever surprises may come with the contract, one learns to not run away from one's problems as well as learn an empathy that only comes from living in community for decades. When a couple looks at each other and presses forward through hardship rather than take the easy way out, they learn more about themselves and show love to the darkest, dirtiest side of their spouse.
That being said, marriage is not entered upon lightly. Those who are not thinking of service when proposing are doing so for the wrong reasons. Additionally, when our friends and family are entering into marriage, we are called to hold them accountable for the love and service that they give to one another. Marriage is a church within the church, a fellowship that exists in relationship with the larger fellowship of church., and a ministry that exists within the larger Kingdom of God. In this way, weddings and baptisms are quite the same thing. This conversation has implications for baptism as well, but this topic is for next time.
As we see marriage disappear from the landscape, we should take hope in the fact that the Christian witness of love, service, and mercy has left a deep mark on the secular American landscape. Even those not raised in the Christian faith are learning to serve and empathize due to the legacy several hard-working Christians have left behind for us. Peace-keeping, service, and other humanitarian institutions exist to this day that apply the Christian principles they were founded on while insisting that they continue to do so without a logical philosophical reason (beyond "social contract theory"). In the same way, as marriage and church-membership become the only vestiges of long-term commitment, the world will be drawn to the deeper love and service that we offer one another. They will be shaped by and drawn to the dynamics that the Christian life brings, especially as rampant individualism and freedom ravage the American landscape, leaving behind a wake of isolation and loneliness. When this happens, the world will change, slowly but surely. No matter how many times the world tries to imitate the Church, they will find themselves sluggishly behind in a race toward the Kingdom of God.
The relationship status known as "cohabitation" or "living together" has largely taken the place of marriage in the same way that wireless phone carriers and cable companies have learned that consumers are more interested in relationships without contracts. In the case of phone carriers, consumers have learned to fear promising packages up front that are later transformed to unfavorable terms once a contract has been signed. In the same way, discerning couples in the modern "love marketplace" are learning that years of marriage may reveal unintended transformation of the package they signed up for. Thus, escaping the contract model gives all consumers the ability to fluidly meet their needs on the fly, capable of major relationship changes over the course of days. Additionally, our generation is more aware than ever that weddings and rehearsals are often unwelcome drains on finances and awkward reintroductions to distant family.
The only road bump that I see on the way to cohabitation is the place of children in American society. We care for our children and are willing to spend a lot of money to make sure they get the best in life. Additionally, stable marriages have proven the only method capable of consistently raising healthy, whole children. If cohabitation became the new norm, these households could prove dangerous and unhealthy for children who don't know what their caretaker situation will be like from day to day as their parents discern the best relational package for the moment. However, if the government or a private business practice found a way to supplement and capitalize on the parenting function that was not horrifying, large groups of people might leave their children to be raised, visiting them for their own joy while bypassing the burdens and pains of parenthood. One can even imagine situations in which conservative groups wishing to diminish abortions and liberal groups wanting to provide a communal approach to child-raising could team up to create a context where children can be dropped off and raised. Currently, this system exists in a proto form as the foster care system, yet the horrors of this system are too well known to be easily marketable. Reform may come one day where a more effective system will come along that effectively raises children, whether through private market competition or through mass overhaul of the foster care system. Once this new system is in place, the final difficult barrier between marriage and cohabitation will go away.
Now, as a Christian, does this change in society scare me? No.
Do I believe in the importance of Christian marriage? Absolutely.
Christians reflecting on marriage often turn to 1 Corinthians 7 for advice on romance and are horrified to find Paul seemingly advocate against marriage. However, this passage has more to show us than first meets the eye and demonstrates the Christian perspective on marriage. First, not only does Paul affirm the desire for sex, he also gives a method of discernment for dating Christians. He says that marriage will pull away Christians from service to God and others. However, Paul is not saying that marriage is unchristian. Quite the opposite really:
"32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord." (1 Corinthians 7:32-35, NIV)
Instead of stepping away from service, marriage is a change of service, from serving God and others all of the time to serving one's wife part of the time. Yet, from what Matthew teaches us on service, serving anyone is really serving Christ himself. So, instead of changing from serving to not serving, we are changing from one kind of service to another. Paul thinks that the service of the single is most helpful in his current context, but he shows that both are equally ministry. And herein lies the key to our conversation on marriage disappearing.
When the world chooses marriage as the apex of romantic desire, they are taking a delightful part of the Christian witness and isolating it from the renewed heart in Christ. Since the secular world does not follow Christ, there is no reason for the secular world to try and obey a principle which only belongs to the Way of the Cross. For the world, service is valuable because people in general are valuable and love is valuable because it transcends space and time. However, the deeper level that the Christian sees is that, in addition to finding sex and service valuable, marriage is valuable because we belong to one another. And it is in belonging to one another that sex and service are also transformed. Just as the Bible speaks of Christians belonging to one another by virtue of their baptism, so a Christian marriage involves people belonging to one another. The gospel is not just a radical cleansing of sin, it is the establishment of a community that commits to loving and serving each other for the long haul. Long-term commitment is inherent in the Christian witness, taking a higher priority than the joys of sex and even the goods of service.
You see, cohabitating Christian couples can serve one another, but, without the permanent commitment of marriage, they will never truly belong to one another. Marriage is both a unique service and a spiritual discipline due to this dynamic of long-term commitment. When one signs up for whatever surprises may come with the contract, one learns to not run away from one's problems as well as learn an empathy that only comes from living in community for decades. When a couple looks at each other and presses forward through hardship rather than take the easy way out, they learn more about themselves and show love to the darkest, dirtiest side of their spouse.
That being said, marriage is not entered upon lightly. Those who are not thinking of service when proposing are doing so for the wrong reasons. Additionally, when our friends and family are entering into marriage, we are called to hold them accountable for the love and service that they give to one another. Marriage is a church within the church, a fellowship that exists in relationship with the larger fellowship of church., and a ministry that exists within the larger Kingdom of God. In this way, weddings and baptisms are quite the same thing. This conversation has implications for baptism as well, but this topic is for next time.
As we see marriage disappear from the landscape, we should take hope in the fact that the Christian witness of love, service, and mercy has left a deep mark on the secular American landscape. Even those not raised in the Christian faith are learning to serve and empathize due to the legacy several hard-working Christians have left behind for us. Peace-keeping, service, and other humanitarian institutions exist to this day that apply the Christian principles they were founded on while insisting that they continue to do so without a logical philosophical reason (beyond "social contract theory"). In the same way, as marriage and church-membership become the only vestiges of long-term commitment, the world will be drawn to the deeper love and service that we offer one another. They will be shaped by and drawn to the dynamics that the Christian life brings, especially as rampant individualism and freedom ravage the American landscape, leaving behind a wake of isolation and loneliness. When this happens, the world will change, slowly but surely. No matter how many times the world tries to imitate the Church, they will find themselves sluggishly behind in a race toward the Kingdom of God.
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