Last week, I talked about Marriage being similar to Baptism, as an entrance into service and community. However, I think it is just as important to make the reverse comparison: baptism is like marriage.
This comparison shouldn't come as a surprise, especially since this image comes up in places like Ephesians 5:25-33. However, when it comes to baptism today, we don't seem to treat the ceremony as something similar. When I see new believers coming for baptism in the New Testament, I see a change in lifestyle and expectations; they join a community. However, when I say that there is a change in expectations, I am not emphasizing the moral aspect, although this is included. A wedding ceremony is not just a permission ceremony where a man and woman gain permission to have sex for the first time, nor is it an exclusion ceremony where a couple simply forswears romance outside of marriage. The very nature of their relationship changes from one based on simple trust and feelings to being one based in promise and commitment as well.
In church settings, new believers come to be baptized or for membership only to sit on the outside of the church, showing up for Sunday morning worship if for anything at all. Or young believers push for baptism because their friends are doing so, not knowing the choice, commitment, and weight of baptism. Pastors interview young candidates for baptism with a simple doctrinal test: do you believe that Jesus died on the cross for your sins? Are you aware of your own sin? Do you accept Jesus' lordship and payment for your sins? However, while these questions are a great way to learn where someone is on the journey to becoming a Christian, I think they fall drastically short as tests for baptism. This question is not to say that kids can't become Christians, quite the opposite. Kids often have insights that other Christians don't have. However, in my opinion, kids are missing some necessary components of baptism.
Let me explain further: Baptism is seen in the New Testament texts as a submission to church discipline and to the order of the church. Additionally, baptism is an entrance into ekklesia, a self-giving community of mutual love. It is a commitment to do life together for the long haul, to serve one another, to bless each other with our gifts, and to mend one another's wounds. In this sense, baptism really is like marriage, between the new believer and the body of Christ, just as the body of Christ is married to Christ himself.
Thus, I find myself dissatisfied with children being baptized, not just because they are often confused about the nature of the gospel, but because they have not developed the capacity to serve and love like an adult nor the ability to understand the weight of long-term commitment. When we hear of child marriages, we find ourselves disgusted, not because the child doesn't mentally understand what a marriage is nor because they don't have the capacity to serve or love. Instead, we abhor child marriages because the child has not developed the capacity to take responsibility for their own life and commitments. They are not capable of understanding the true weight of a life-long commitment like marriage. Additionally, while children can love and serve, they do not understand the discipline and maturity that love and service take within the context of marriage (adults have a hard enough time with these same concepts). Therefore, if marriage is like baptism, why do we rush to have our children baptized? We can affirm their faith and growth without forcing them to make a commitment to the fellowship of believers. When we equate baptism with salvation and justification, not only do we imply that baptism saves, we also imply that baptism is a one-time moment without consequences. I understand that those from infant baptism backgrounds might disagree, but they replace the true nature of baptism by coming up with other practices, such as confirmation and membership, to supplement what is lost by child baptism.
In conclusion, how have we Christians responded to our own Baptism? Do we act like we are married to the body of faith? If not, what is holding us back?
Feel free to disagree in the comments below. What do you think are legitimate differences between marriage and baptism?
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